This verse must be read within the broader system of family life advocated by the Quran and Sunnah (teachings of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), in which men and women build a household upon love, respect, and harmony. As Allah mentions elsewhere in the Quran, *“And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect”* ([30:21](https://quran.com/30/21)). However, violence and other abusive behavior towards wives remain societal problems that exist in many societies.
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This verse addresses a particular scenario in which the stability of the marriage is threatened by actions on the wife’s part (cf. [4:128](https://quran.com/4/128) which speaks of injustice and problematic behavior from the husband). If the matter is serious enough, the husband–in his capacity as leader of the household–is granted some measures to make his wife aware that the family is falling apart.
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These measures are not necessarily to be adopted in all cases, as they depend on the individuals involved and their cultural norms. While not a religious obligation, the following steps are outlined (in this verse) beginning by giving a verbal admonishment (*maw’izah*), which is hoped to be effective by itself. If not, then another possibility is mentioned: turn away in bed (*hajr*). In some cases, it may be deemed necessary to use a limited physical reprimand (*darb*).
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It is important to keep in view the following points:
1. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who is the role model for Muslims, did not hit his wives and discouraged doing so. At one time, he criticized and declared that those who did hit their wives were not the best among the people.
2. Based on the Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ guidance, Islamic jurists have concluded that the scope of *darb* permitted by this verse is greatly limited. It must not be to an extent that would leave lasting pain or mark the body, and the face must not be hit at all. It is not meant to be a punishment and is only intended to the extent that it could be done with something like a pencil or toothbrush.
3. The phrase “But if they obey you” means that if the wife returns to appropriate conduct, then no further measures may be taken against her. If the purpose of restoring harmony is not likely to be achieved by this action, then it should not be pursued at all.
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According to Tafsir Ibn Kathir, the end of the verse warns men not to transgress against their wives without cause, for Allah “the Most High, the Great” is the ultimate guardian of the women and He will punish any who oppresses them. It is in this vein that a group of jurists has stated that a wife may seek a judge’s ruling to annul her marriage if her husband abuses her physically (or even verbally) without just cause.
This verse outlines the types of reprimand that may be necessary when a marriage is at risk due to some wrongdoing on the wife’s part. It does not advocate physical harm or injustice, as injuring the wife under any circumstances, along with abuse and wrongdoing, is prohibited by Islamic Law.